Dislocation (or Strangled by the Phone Cord)
How odd it now feels after all this time,
After the change of so many moons,
To be back on some strand near the
Place we both left off- Yet very far away.
As hard as it is to define and measure
This feels good-- like the satin of cold
Ice cream as it slides down the back of my throat.
So much is different now, so many new circumstances to acknowledge.
Temptation creeps down my back as I nakedly greet each new day.
Thoughts of you, new and old, invade my consciousness like a masked
assassin.
Quietly you continue to visit me-
If only in my colorless, yet enrapturing dreams.
Thank you for engendering in me again
A sense of what used to be.
Recounting my blessings, I'm now able
To give liberty to my thoughts
Rather than merely watching myself
As if a reflection in a dirty cafe window.
--J.A.M.
Tangible Separation
Senselessly I rise before you
Unsure of anything but the
Raw craving deep within.
It was never supposed to be this way-
You-
Me-
Separate
Alone, yet not so.
The night slowly ticks away until our sweet hour arrives.
I am a stranger here, having not felt this way for so long.
This peace, this urgency
I have nothing but my pen, some paper, and the incalculable memories of you, of us.
Outside my window I can hear small signs of time slipping away.
Peaceful sounds of nature
Herald the Dawn as She jabs red and golden fingers at me.
No more time to unwrap you.
What am I to do now?
Silently I rise again, without armor
to face another day- hectically and absentmindedly trying to remember
As in the pit of my soul your fire rages.
Let me now stand with you in some new Place
And share some new Hope
Grace
Redemption.
Too often I've cried out with muffled tongue and silent silver screams.
Too often I've sacrificed restless dreams for the sake of compassion.
But the gray of a shriveled soul strangled by the unfolding layers of my
Thirstful existence
and an empty burning bed
Push me forward.
It must be.
--J.A.M.
